Wonder Wednesday

Happy Wednesday!

Today is a short post. I’d like to talk a little bit about our filters.

Whether they’re externally placed or internally held, we all have filters that are largely based on our perceptions, beliefs, experiences, and what we’ve been told throughout our lives. These filters no doubt shape the way we choose to act and express ourselves in the world.

Many of them tend to come from a place of fear. We hold them in our psyche as a way to protect ourselves from what scares us – fear of loss, fear of pain, fear of embarrassment or judgment, you name it. After awhile they become hard-grained habits that end up limiting the totality of who we are and our expression of our authenticity. We are mislead in thinking that they make our experience easier, but in all reality, it makes it much more difficult. We end up completely disconnected from ourselves with a life that keeps us small and timid.

I’m sure we’ve all had situations in which we felt that we couldn’t do this or say that because it’s not “normal” or because we may be rejected, ridiculed, or out-casted. Maybe it’s not even because of others, but because we’re judging ourselves. It’s definitely an uncomfortable experience. We want to show up as authentic and honest as we can but because of these filters, we shy away, avoid, and hide our truth. Not only are we being dishonest to others in doing so, we’re also being dishonest to ourselves as well.

The thing about this is that every single one of us has the ability to lovingly express ourselves and our truth to others. When we’re fully living in our truest expression, there is no room for judgment or fear, inside or out, because we know that we’re being 100% real. There’s a certain kind of freedom and security – yes, a paradox! – which manifests when we allow ourselves to express ourselves in the most authentic way possible. Not only do we feel more courageous, more happy, and more honest – others around us will pick up on this and reflect it back. Relationships which are founded in full honesty and authenticity? Yes, please!

So today, I wonder:

If you truly had no filter, how would you introduce yourself to the world? How would you show up and act?

 

I invite you to let me know in the comments below! 🙂

xo

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26 thoughts on “Wonder Wednesday

  1. I can tell you honestly that I live probably 90% of the time without a filter, and it has huge advantages and disadvantages. On the plus side, I do have very real, genuine relationships with all of the people I care about. People seek out my opinion and advise because they know I’m honest and I don’t hold back. I don’t worry about what people think.

    On the minus side, lack of filter means that I hurt people, even ones I do care about, sometimes without realizing it until it’s been pointed out to me. I sometimes struggle to understand what people what or what they mean when they are talking to me. Almost as if they are speaking a language I don’t understand. It can leave me feeling a little isolated and I sometimes avoid social situations out of fear of “making a mistake.”

    I wouldn’t consider changing myself for a second, but be careful of what you wish for.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, tact and self-awareness is definitely important when we’re in a space of full expression! 🙂 I actually posted this because I was thinking about how much my boyfriend speaks with no filter versus myself – I tend to sugarcoat and beat around the bush at times. Yes, sometimes he may unintentionally hurt my feelings, but I recognize that it’s just that – unintentional – and that the feelings I find myself in are just a sign that what he’s saying is probably true in some way and something that I could use work around which is why it ends up affecting me. Regardless, I appreciate his lack of filters because I know he’s always honest and I find so much security in that! I would guess in the long run, it may be the same for the people around you. I can also understand why you may feel a bit isolated being so forthright in your expression and how it may feel like others are speaking another language. I hadn’t considered that perspective, so thank you for sharing!

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  2. I believe we can live without filters if we live without ego and with a willingness to listen to others. Although our opinions maybe different we should still be respectful to what other people say and do. Trying not to react to emotional triggers is something I believe is learned.

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    1. Absolutely, Elaine! I agree. Many of the filters are created by the ego to keep itself safe. Though I do believe the ego is necessary to have, it’s important that we have control over it rather allowing it control over ourselves – to live from the heart much more than our ego space. I also appreciate that you mention it’s important to be respectful and have a willingness to listen to what others say and do. So true! I believe that’s a big part of letting go of the filters that limit us. When we are in our full expression, we can truly allow others to be as well. And to your last statement – All is learned after all 🙂 thank you!

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    1. So true! I’ve definitely found a lot of my preconceptions of things/places/people disappeared once I immersed myself within. Thanks for sharing! 🙂

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  3. always love what you write as it speaks to the deepest part of my pschye and this one topic i think more relevant to me in the past couple of days. I have only ever spoken up in writing and that very recently too. I have filters for my own self-preservation, because my words have never had weight in my real world its seems to be only appreciated here in cyber space. It’s a conditioning from years of living with someone who subdues your soul. I may never speak truthfully Kayla in real life and I know I will hurt people I love with this weakness. But it boils down to be hurt or get hurt sometimes and so I rather break my own heart before someone else does, does this make sense to you? Maybe you have a better explanation to this conflict I have in me.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I totally resonate with much of what you have shared here, Gina. I dealt with a similar environment and stayed quiet for many years as I had this belief that since “they” didn’t care to listen, nobody else would either. I find that depth tends to cause many to step back and shut down because they don’t understand. And many times it’s simply because they tend to be so focused on self that they just don’t care to listen. I realized that this just means that it’s not me. It’s them. I have the ability (and responsibility) to show up fully and honestly and to have hope that I will connect with those who will care, who will understand. Thankfully, I have. Social media was a fantastic tool for me to move into this space of authenticity and truth, and slowly I was able to translate it into my real life. I hope that you find someone in your real world that appreciates your words, because they are profound and important. They, and you, should absolutely be honored! 💜

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    1. That’s fantastic, Anne. I suppose this is something that naturally comes with age! I’ve always admired the older people in my life for that reason. One hundred percent honesty! 🙂

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  4. The timing of this post is interesting, because I’m writing a post about the flip side; understanding other people’s perception! (Or rather, what media I follow regularly to achieve that. 🙂)

    I think I’m a half-and-half when it comes to living with filters. On one hand, I go out wearing whatever comfortable clothes I like (without makeup, hate ’em!) without caring about what other people think as long as I look all right, and I smile at random people. On the other, my low self-esteem kicks in and I don’t say what I really think (especially at the office), and I hold back words depending on how close I am to the other person.

    If I were to introduce myself to the world without filters? Probably the way I am now, with a smile and a cheery greeting, but without the need to hold back words. 🙂
    Great post as always!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for sharing, Nicolle! 🙂 Always lovely to hear from you. I myself have trouble at times saying what I truly feel, too. Definitely something that takes a good amount of patience, self-compassion, and practice. 💞

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  5. What a lovely post. I try and live without filters to those near and dear to me but I’m guilty as charged of putting on masks when in different situations. And, dare I say, protecting myself. Generally however, what you see is what you get. xo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Absolutely, Miriam! I think we all do. Just a part of being human it seems! It’s interesting to think about what it would be like if they weren’t there though, isn’t it? 🙂

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